Year of the Plumper

So why is 2008 the year of the plumper? Well, let me give you some schooling. Although we may not want to admit it to ourselves, the world is getting smaller. Why, you ask? Because people are getting bigger. We’re gaining weight by the tons, and it doesn’t look like there’s any end in sight! Not only that, but sex is becoming more mainstream than ever. All the billboards are selling it. Blockbusters are showing it. Porno has become as normal and American as apple pie. So what does this all mean? Women aren’t hiding out in their apartments getting fat and mumbling to themselves about getting to the gym. Hell no! They’re out there getting laid in droves! Men are returning to the original ideals of the Venus goddess, all curves and unforgettable girth!
Back in the day times were much tougher than they are now. Food was scarce. Woolly mammoths and the like were picking off people. If a woman was going to stay warm and care for her unborn children, she had to stay plump! Reproduction is incredibly draining in terms of energy. You’ve got to eat a lot to be more productive! In fact, having a plump wife meant that you were a great hunter and were better able to provide for your family! If you want proof of that, hell, look at Mauritania! Girls are overfed from birth in order to be rounder and more appealing to men! Prehistoric carvings of fertility goddesses proved the animalistic desire to keep women large and round. They all presented a mighty fat picture of their ideal woman, and that was just fine. It’s time we all go back to our roots and begin loving what comes natural to us.
Things aren’t as hard now for the average American. We can run to the market and pick up pounds of fresh cut meat, and all the veggies we want. We can make a phone call and someone will bring us dinner. We have everything we want right at our fingertips, so it’s only natural we’d begin to indulge. We’ve been hedonistic. Admit it. We’ve been enjoying our pleasant comfortable status. We’ve all been eating chips like they actually count as one of the five good food groups, and drinking soda like we should be drinking water. Now look at us! We’ve all become horny hefty humpers just fucking and eating our way into the future! What fun!
The days of women feeling an immense amount of self loathing for their size are drifting away like autumn leaves in the wind. They’re on someone else’s lawn now, and can be forgotten. TV sitcoms are casting big beautiful women, and not even making references to their size. Fat actresses are making wholehearted jokes about it, and not caring about the media attention. Even Tyra Banks is out there in her swimsuit with a few extra pounds on her behind, screaming, “I’M NOT FAT!” Women are fighting back against the years of mental and emotional abuse directed at them by the media. We will no longer accept that there is only one definition of beauty for Americans! In fact, we’re considering fat discrimination akin to racism, homophobia, and sexism these days and forcing a new set of rules.
The big question used to be whether a person can be fat, as well as fit. Serious studies ensued and the answer resounded as a huge YES! A human’s figure doesn’t depend solely on diet. Genetics and activity play a huge part, of course. A thin woman can be severely out of shape, while a 220-pound BBW can be in perfect health. As soon as that question was solved, another took its place. Well, if fat can be fit, can it also be beautiful? The jury is still out on that, and it only takes one visit to Google and a search for the words “Fat is Sexy” for an interesting array of information to come up. Big girls are writing blogs about their feelings. Men are creating communities of fat lovers. Dating and social sites are adding sections where one can choose to disclose their size. On Myspace.com, if one is overweight, they can choose to disclose that by saying “There’s more to love!” That’s pretty positive! It seems to me that the answer can be found now. Yes, fat can be sexy. It is sexy. It always was sexy.
I’ll even be bold in saying that fat loving is not a fetish! I think true fat lovers are open-minded individuals who see that a human being is lovable regardless of their size. Women, in particular, are more attractive because the added weight accentuates the luscious curves and folds that naturally excite men.
I’ve been working in the adult industry for 7 years now, and as we all know that’s enough time for Saturn to turn around and complete a full cycle of reality. In that time I’ve been witness to countless porn trends. When I first got on the wagon, it was all about young, fresh girls. Not to say that men don’t like the Barely Legal thing anymore, but sales are down. Larry Flynt got rid of Hometown Girls Magazine, and it cycled down the drain in the subsequent years. Pink magazine went by the same end. Many others have as well. The video companies specializing in young girls had to come up with something new, and fast, so they directed even more hardcore scenes to the point that it all got a little disgusting. The young performers moved on to become the glossy high-class girls you see in Hustler or Digital Playground films. What filled their place were niche specialty films and magazines. Juggs, Leg World, Score, Plumpers, and Big Butt all saw better numbers as men searched for something with a little more flavor. Now, when I get screeners for review, half the videos are butt focused! Whatabooty, Ba Dunk A Bounce, Big Black Sluts, ect… these were all things that I never saw when I was a porn whelp.
To give a great example, I’ve always personally been attracted to the BDSM scene. I’ve drifted along the sidelines of countess parties in Hollywood watching leather and latex clad babes get spanked, prodded, electrocuted, and pierced for years. The go-go dancers at the Bondage Balls were always morbidly thin Gothic types with fake plastic dreads and metallic stripper costumes. Anorexia abounded.
I went to the last Fetish ball in Hollywood at the Henry Fonda Theater and I was pleasantly surprised to see a burlesque troop on the stage dancing their little hearts out. These were not the usual cybergoth punkettes I was used to seeing on pedestals. These were fishnetted, high heeled, fringed bra wearing BBW women. At least, the majority of them were. I was pleasantly entertained by their dance routine, which purposely featured the large backsides of these sexy foxes. The men were standing transfixed and staring at the stage. When the dancers finished their routine, the uproar of applause was enough for an encore. Times have sure changed for the better.
I made my way upstairs to the VIP lounge to grab a cocktail and hang out with the DJ when I noticed that at least half of the rooftop area was populated with reubenesque goddesses leading docile looking sex slaves around by leashes. Big ladies with tiny panties and knee high boots that showed off their thick thighs, were up on the stage disciplining naughty revelers. Everyone was comfortable and loving it. The days of the stick figured Mistress are obviously behind us.
Now, I don’t want to infer that you can only find big beautiful women being so sexually out and proud at a fetish event. That’s far from reality. Everywhere women are coming out from behind their large dresses and showing off their pretty faces, nice personalities, and intelligence. They’re whipping off the oversized sweaters of yesterday and putting on nicely fitted dresses and high heels. Men everywhere are remembering what they were missing. Groping hands and stiff cocks are populating BBW swinger’s parties at an alarming rate. Video companies are specializing in plump lovers content only…and they’re making way more money than everyone else! If you don’t jump on the bandwagon, you might get left behind. Everyone will be fucking and sucking on huge tits and ass cheeks in warm rooms smelling of sex and incense, and you’ll be on the outside looking in masturbating your lonely old cock all by yourself…in the rain.
Here’s the thing…there was a time when a man could be ridiculed for loving fat women. That whole aesthetic is so out of style now. As Heidi Klum has often said, in the world of trends and fashion, you’re either in or you’re out! Fat is in baby. If you don’t dig it, you’ll be out. Auf Wiedersehen!